SheSue Experience

When my oldest child first left for college, I cried for about 12 hours straight. I couldn’t go into his room without sobbing. My daughter was still at home, but she was busy with a new boyfriend. My husband and I had grown apart over the years, so I didn’t have him to talk to either. I felt like a part of me had been lost.

Empty Nest

I managed. I found projects to do. Since my son was only a two hour drive away, he came home several times during his fall term. Then he was home for Christmas break. A whole month. And then it was time for him to leave again. Empty nest all over again. And again, and again. It was easier when my daughter got married.  I was already used to her being gone a lot plus she lives in town and I talk to her often.

After both kids were out of the house, I began to have the same thoughts that thousands of women go through. Who am I? What am I supposed to do now? I was having a terrible time making up my mind about anything, even to the point of what to make for dinner. I realized that for the past 22 years, most of my decisions had been based on my kids’ needs. I have checked out the internet for advise and found a couple of good sites that offer resources and support: www.emptynestersupport.com and www.flownthenest.com.

Four days and my son will be gone again for his third year at college. I am already feeling the loss, looking for things to occupy myself. I have signed up for a few community classes, I have started this blogsite, I hike on the weekends, I hope to find some volunteer work again and have lots of projects in mind both in and outside the house. I still have a hard time making plans without worrying that I might miss a call from one of the kids, but I forge ahead.

For me the hardest part is discovering that I have no real friends. All my friends over the years have been parents of the kids’ friends. When I quit carpooling the kids around, I lost touch with all those women. So my goal for this year is to get out and find other women to hang out with. I’ll let you know how my search goes.